Since I have many things to reflect on and think about, but studying is sucking my time away so I shall oblige - the Holy Week mega “update” in abstract form (subject to additions as more come to mind):
1. Stay with me, remain here with me, watch and pray.
2. A frustrating and selfish morning (on my part) on Good Friday.
3. The 40 days of Lent - how has it changed me?
4. And joy poured forth from the font of baptism into the hearts of those gathered around, especially mine. A real joyous joy, a reverent glee.
5. Fasting before feasting - and feasting with gladness with the people I love being around me.
6.. O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer!
5. The 50 days leading up to Pentecost - that of conversion, renewal, annointing and power.
6. Being harsh vs. Being soft. The balance?
7. A life-giving gathering of brothers and sisters in Christ. Our lives, past and present, were being exchanged.
“We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I’d finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I’ll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can’t you do something?
He looks as though he’s gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can’t you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry’s
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?
My precious son
I hear them screaming
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I’ve heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you’ll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father’s side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die”
—
Why, by Nicole Nordeman
It’s 3pm on Good Friday.
Thank you Lord Jesus.
“
As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby’s face
You know me, You know me
As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I’ve said
Every thought and every word I’ve said
Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me
Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn’s bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I
Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me
From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am
And as a lover knows his beloved’s heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed one in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes
Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known
You have known me, in the morning, in the evening
You’ve known me, God
In the morning, in the evening You have known me
Yeah, You’ve know me
You have always known me
You know me, God, You have known me
You have always known my heart
The main scandal of the Eucharist is not the transubstantiation of bread and wine, but rather it is the reality of the death of God which allows it.
Not sure if this is theologically sound, but it is some of the thoughts that crossed my mind today at mass. It’s easy to say that the mystery of the Eucharist is the changing of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ - but we forget that it is God who does it, and for Him who is omnipotent, anything is possible.
What the real mystery is, in my opinion, is the truth that it was God, a God, that chose to shed His blood, offer up His flesh, and ultimately His life, for us.
“Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.” —
1 Peter 5: 8-11
It’s been a tiring week, especially spiritually. Resentment, irritation, pride, confusion, tiredness and jadedness have risen up like a torrent of water to batter my being. I know that it isn’t just me, but that there is an interior battle fighting for my soul. Sometimes I fall, other times I trudge on, but today I decided to take a stand. I prayed. I prayed for deliverance, I prayed for freedom, I prayed for strength, I prayed for humility. Above all, I prayed for His reign to be established again in my life. Gotta thank Gracemary for this reminder I saw on her FB status - ” Prayer is the best weapon we possess. It is the key that opens the heart of God. ” (St. Padre Pio). I testify to this today.
Some may scoff at this, that I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. “Not everything can be attributed to the devil” you say. That’s exactly what he wants us to think. The truth is every Christian is under constant, relentless attack. “Your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering”. Now is not the time to dally. Pick up your sword, and fight. Fight the good fight, and run the good race.
St. Michael the Archangel - deliver us from the enemy in this day of battle.
A gentleman is supposed to be a gentle man. But is a gentle man a weak man? It might seem so, since gentlemen are a scarcity these days, while men are finding more ways to cover up their weakness.
“Why do you embrace your cross, you fool?”
The criminal mocked Jesus (from the movie, The Passion of Christ) as He embraced His cross. It was folly, and it was a source of scandal for others. It seemed weak, an act of surrender to the authorities, a sign of defeat. There was no fight in Jesus, just a quiet acceptance of what was to come.
But yet, it is a sign of tenderness. He embraced His cross as it were us. No, He did not see the rough jagged edges of the beam hewn out of a mighty tree, He only saw us, deep in sin and desperate for salvation. The splinters which pierced His limbs and body did not matter, He held the cross ever closer to His being with a gentleness and softness with which a mother holds her newborn.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you.
Is His gentleness a sign of weakness?
Were you there when He embraced up His cross
Were you there when He embraced His cross
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble
Were you there when He embraced His cross
We should be trembling, not in fear and horror of the gruesome torture Jesus will endure, but because His tenderness has pierced our hearts. Gentleness then, is not a sign of weakness. Just as a single word spoken out of silence is infinitely more powerful than a shout amidst a raging noise, gentleness overpowers any other sign of strength.
When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.
The strongest man could be the most gentle because it takes the greatest strength to be gentle, even in the face of death. Many of us forget that this greatest strength has a name - love.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
Jesus has paved the way for a new generation of gentle men to love as He loved. Will you respond?
(reflections based on Fr. Alex’s homily during Tuesday lunchtime mass @ BTC. I take no credit for these revelations)
“
Where do I come from?
Where am I going?
What is happening in my life now?
Where is my God leading me?
” — Questions which need to be asked, and answered, more than anything else.
Comprehension of God’s love is the inability to comprehend it.
(:
“Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” —
Matthew 11:28-30
Most of the time I would associate this passage with Jesus being one who can sustain me in my struggles. However, Fr. Brian gave an interesting take on why Jesus made this statement - it was because of the Pharisees who implemented many rules and regulations before the Jews could come to worship God. Jesus came to show otherwise; God was not a distant God but one who came to live amongst and die for His people. Jesus was trying to say that there was no need for high standards, strict requirements, or complex procedures, because God was with them. It was not man who was reaching up to God, but God reaching down to man. Anyone and everyone could come to Jesus, and He will give them rest. It is that simple!
Somehow this spoke a lot to me, it reflects the message that draws people to Christ. This truth must be brought by Christians to all - that Jesus is not a distant God. I believe that many youths are far from the Church because they find it hard to come back after straying away, but this passage is reason enough for them to come back. It is only when we believe and act out this truth will stony hearts be moved.
We have to remember that each of us are called to minister through Jesus to others with these very words, “come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”. Imagine the power and impact of it - for it cuts to the heart of the human condition. After all, who can say that we are not burdened?
I’ll end of with something Pope Benedict XVI said:
“I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and He gives you everything… Open wide the doors to Christ and you will find true life.”
Cavetime: Time alone, in solitude.
Notice it’s solitude and not in loneliness. Many people equate being alone as a sign that you’re lonely. But I enjoy being alone - it allows you to muse, to think, to savour, to enjoy, to be fully present without distractions. For me this is done by going out alone, maybe to go for mass, to shop, to run errands. But there’s a paradox, you’re fully present but not really present at the same time. You are fully present to yourself and your own thoughts, but not so much to the others around you; they flitter and walk past without you needing to be concerned about them. That’s the beauty of cavetime, it allows us to achieve that interior silence and awareness that so many of us lack.
I attribute the word “cavetime” to Posef. So there, I’m not infringing any copyright/trademark you lawyer. Haha.
And it’s in my first cavetime since exams ended that I write this post. It was rather poignant that I decided to start off my holidays by going for confession at Novena Church. It feels like a mini-pilgrimage every time I go there you know? Having to travel a substantial distance (compared to SFX) , to battle the hot sun while walking there (mass is at 12.15pm) and to endure the stuffiness when I’m actually in the church (no aircon!). Oh and it’s really funny how the priest always says something during the homily which seems like it’s related to what I said in the confessional. I like to think that the homily was inspired (somewhat) by my sins, haha. He also talked about the joy of receiving Christ, especially since it’s Advent. I guess this is something that we all have to cultivate in our walk as Christians eh? It’s been a tiring past month, and I praise God for seeing me through.
So here’s a few questions for you: when was your last “cavetime”? when did you last feel like you were on a pilgrimage? Essentially 2 events which require us to have an interior peace and silence… important things in the hustle and bustle of life. It may be a good time to consider going for one soon (: